


Faith and Belonging

by FishNunRey (ZaylaBeth)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Christianity, F/M, I'm a Christian too but I plan to poke fun at weird Christian culture that isn't even Biblical, Mostly Fluff, No Smut, One Shot, cringy Christian language, get ready for ULTRA CHEESE, mentions death, mentions drugs and alcohol, not gonna get controversial here tho, youth minister Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 09:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZaylaBeth/pseuds/FishNunRey
Summary: Had a cheesy dream last night that Ben was a youth minister at a church and Rey (also an adult, don't worry) met him in passing when visiting with Rose one Sunday. Prepare for cheesy Christian fluff!!! (ps I AM a Christian myself so pls don't hate, also I find many "hip" Christian terms cringey so I'll be making fun of them if I'm able sorry not sorry lol)





	Faith and Belonging

"Come on, Rey. It's not like you do anything else on Sundays anyway!" Rose groaned on the other end of the line.

Rey sighed as she paced around her room. "I know, it's just...people always talk about the _bad_ experiences they have being in church. Why would I want to go?"

"That's probably because they went to a bad church," Rose laughed. "It's hard to find actual _Christian_ churches these days. But I promise we're a good one! We actually do what Jesus says instead of making up our own random rules."

Rey couldn't help but roll her eyes. She figured most churchgoers said this, but she wanted to trust her friend. After a moment of silence, she sighed reluctantly. "Fine. But I'm only going because you need my help cleaning out the workroom after."

She could hear Rose clapping excitedly on the phone. "Yay!!! Thank you so much, Rey. Finn and I can't wait to see you! I'll text you the details Saturday afternoon and we can pick you up Sunday morning. See you then!" And then she hung up.

It wasn't that Rey had a problem with Christianity itself...it was the people who called themselves Christians--Rose and Finn excluded, of course. They were good ones. They were the only reason she didn't hate the religion altogether. How could people as nice and accepting as them be part of something hateful?

But Rey _did_ have a slight fear. She feared that people would judge her because she was a nobody. She didn't have any family--like, _any._ Her parents were drug addicts who abandoned her when she was a toddler, and other than that she didn't know anyone else related to her. At least Finn had his grandma and sister, and Rose had her parents and sister. But Rey had nobody. And jumping from foster home to foster home didn't exactly scream "well-rounded young adult." She had seen things, that's for sure. She could already imagine the judgemental eyes looking down on her when she stepped into the church building. She imagined some well-meaning old lady introducing herself and asking, "where are you from?" Rey didn't know, and she didn't want to know. She hated these sorts of questions. Why did everyone have to have somewhere or someone to come from? Why couldn't they just be themselves?

Rey tried to shake these thoughts away and climbed into bed to sleep for the night.

 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

It was Sunday morning and Rey was _not_ used to getting up so early. Rose told her that church started at 9am so she needed to be ready to be picked up at 8:45. She was relieved to find out she could just wear a t-shirt and jeans, since that's basically all she had. Growing up she thought churchgoers wore fancy dresses and suits, but apparently that wasn't the case anymore, which she was thankful for.

Rose and Finn pulled up exactly on time and Finn greeted Rey at the door. "How are you today, peanut?" He asked. They had been friends their whole lives, but church was sort of something they didn't really talk about. It was just kind of... _there_ for Finn and Rey never wanted a part of it.

She couldn't help but smile seeing her friend, though. "I'm good, you?" She asked.

"Good! It's a great day to be alive! This is the day the Lord has made!" Finn beamed. Rey couldn't help but cringe just a little bit, but she knew Finn was genuine.

 

When they pulled up to the church building, Rey was surprised at its size. It actually wasn't as big as she expected. She was expecting some grand cathedral or massive landmark, but...no. It was just a normal building, save the small steeple at the top to show its religious significance. It was actually quite a humble looking building, which made Rey feel better--and worse. That meant she wouldn't be able to blend in with the crowd, because it looked like the crowd would be a small one.

Rey walked shyly behind Rose and Finn as they made their way inside. A young boy excitedly opened the door for them, like he was happy to have a job to do. That made Rey smile. Then a couple of older ladies greeted them and handed them bulletins, which showed the order of events during service for the day. Rey was relieved when the ladies smiled and greeted her normally, just as they had greeted Finn and Rose. She didn't want people going out of their way for her.

"We usually sit in the middle, a few rows from the front," Finn said. "But we can sit further back if you'd like."

Rey felt her face flush. Looking into the auditorium, she could see how small it was. Probably only fit a couple hundred people at the _most,_ which meant everyone could see _everyone._ The idea of sitting at the front made her nervous, because _surely_ people would notice Regular Churchgoers Finn and Rose with a guest. But wouldn't it be _more_ obvious if Finn and Rose didn't sit in their normal seats? In a panic, Rey answered quickly without thinking. "Uh, it's fine." Great.

Rose linked arms with Rey and smiled comfortingly as they stepped in to find their seats. Thankfully service hadn't started yet and people were still filing in, so it wasn't like they were the only ones standing.

When they got to their seats, Rey did a quick scan of the room. No one was looking at her like she thought! She immediately felt relief as her whole body relaxed. She didn't even realize how tense she was. There seemed to be a good mix of people: elderly, middle-aged, young adults, and children. Rey didn't know why but that seemed like a good sign, meaning the church wasn't being overrun by stubborn old people stuck in their ways. But where were the kids that weren't toddlers? Where were the preteens and the teenagers? Surely _some_ went here--

To Rey's left, she realized the first two rows were filling up with teens. Apparently they all liked to sit together? That was nice, it meant they weren't forced to sit with their parents the whole time. Maybe that meant they were there more because they _wanted_ to be and not because they were _forced_ to be? At least, that's what Rey hoped.

Then, suddenly, a man walked up to stand with the teenagers. He was by himself, seemed a bit awkward. Rey's brow furrowed in concern, until the kids all turned around to greet him excitedly. They high-fived him, gave him side-hugs, and a couple of the boys gave him a playful punch in the arm. He didn't seem to mind it.

Rose must've noticed Rey's staring. "That's the youth minister, Ben. He sits with the kids in the youth group to make sure they pay attention," she laughed. "He's a really good guy, though. We've had _horrible_ youth ministers in the past. He's finally our good one."

Rey nodded in acknowledgement, then blinked to regain her focus. She turned to face forward when she realized the service was starting.

 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

Service was....nice. Not at all what Rey had expected. To be honest, she felt like the singing part was a little odd. Rose explained that the singing was to worship God, but it almost felt more like they were practicing for a performance. Rey would've liked to see more "worship" in the singing than what seemed like a show. But it was still nice. She had never been a part of anything like it before.

The sermon was nice too. For some reason Rey was expecting the classic "fire and brimstone" speech, but instead it was about love. It was about how God had sent Jesus to die for the sins of humanity so that they could go to heaven, all because God loved them that much. The preacher talked about how they were to love _everyone,_ just as Jesus would have--Rey liked that part a lot. He talked about how people often make mistakes or get in places they feel there's no way out, but Jesus can save them. Rey wasn't sure how much she believed the whole Jesus stuff, but she wasn't completely closed off to it either. She'd need to do more of her _own_ study and learning before she accepted that.

The entire service, Rey found her eyes drifting back over to that man, Ben. She wasn't sure why but she found him intriguing, and he was in the perfect seat for her to glance over without it being obvious. He was unusually large and seemed a bit awkward trying to sit in such a small seat. He wore a dark gray sweater and black pants, and kept his hands in his pockets the whole time as if he didn't know what to do with them. His hair was gorgeously long and dark, she wasn't going to deny that. She wanted to learn more about him.

After the service ended, Rey stayed in her seat until Rose or Finn told her what to do. They had said in Rose's text that Sunday School came after service, so she didn't get to go home just yet. But suddenly she wasn't all that eager to leave.

An older lady made her way toward Rose and Finn. "Hello, you two! How are you doing this morning?" She asked pleasantly, shaking their hands warmly.

"We're doing great, Amilyn. How are you today?" Rose smiled.

Amilyn sighed happily. "Oh, you know, just thankful the Lord has blessed me with another day on this earth." Then she looked at Rey. "Hello, my name is Amilyn. Are you visiting with this lovely couple today?" She reached her hand out.

Rey slowly reached her hand back out to shake the lady's hand. "Hello, yes. M-my name's Rey."

Amilyn squeezed her hand comfortingly and looked her in the eye. "Well, Rey, it's so wonderful to have you here. I hope you enjoy your time here and come back soon! I have to get going now to find my Leia. She wandered off again, that silly woman!"

Rey was surprised and relieved at the confrontation, thankful that this Amilyn lady didn't make her feel judged. She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Okay so usually we go to the young adults and young marrieds class, but it's the start of the month so it's our turn to help out with the youth group's middle school class. Are you okay with that, Rey? It might be a little chaotic," Finn chuckled.

Something clicked in Rey's brain when Finn said "youth group", and suddenly Rey was excited to go to Sunday School. "Sure, that sounds great." She said, trying not to sound too eager.

 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

Rey followed her two friends to the large room that the youth group had class in. It was a stark difference to the clean, orderly auditorium they had service in. There were chairs lined up in rows to face a main chair, but in the corner of the room were beanbag chairs and a Foosball table. Fairy lights were strung across the room and motivational posters pinned on the walls. They said things like "you're not alone," "you are enough," "John 3:16," "Jeremiah 29:11," and more. There was a bulletin board of various fun events and a photo collage of past events. Rey almost felt some sensory overload, but it also felt so much more chill than she would expect from a church.

Kids were already running in to the room loudly to play a round of Foosball or scribble all over the whiteboard. Then Ben walked in behind them. "Oh, hello," he said in a deep voice Rey was _not_ expecting, but probably should have. He looked at Rose and Finn. "You guys here to help with class this month?"

"Yup!" Finn chimed in. "Wherever you need us. Oh also, this is our friend Rey. She's visiting with us today. She's gonna help us clean out the workroom afterward." He put his hand on Rey's shoulder affectionately.

Ben looked at Rey and the second they made eye contact, Rey could feel herself blush. She hoped to God--yes actually, God, since it was applicable here--that no one could see it. "Nice to meet you, Rey. I'm Ben. I'm the youth minister for these crazy kiddos." He smiled, reaching out to shake her hand.

Rey accepted as his hand engulfed hers and she smiled back. "Nice to meet you," she managed to say.

Ben turned back to Finn and Rose as he slowly let go of her hand-- _slowly._ Rey noticed. "I wrote up a small lesson if you're comfortable teaching it today," he said to them. "You two can split it up and teach together if you'd like. I can sit in the back." Finn nodded and accepted the paper Ben pulled out of his back pocket and put it in his own Bible.

"Rey, are you okay sitting in the back with Ben while we teach?" Rose asked. Rey nodded without a second thought.

After all the kids got settled into the room and in their seats, Rose and Finn sat down in the chairs at the front to begin teaching. Rey followed Ben to the seats in the back by the door, behind all the other rows. She wasn't sure why she felt so excited and nervous all at the same time.

Finn said a prayer for the class before they started. "Alrighty guys, I want you to turn in your Bibles to Romans 12:9," he said.

Rey didn't know what to do. She didn't own a Bible, and there wasn't one under her seat like there was during the church service. Suddenly she felt a warm presence leaning closer to her left. "Wanna share with me?" Ben whispered softly.

"Oh," she blushed again. Why was this stupid thing something to blush about?!?! "Yes please, thanks." Ben smiled and held his Bible between their laps as they read along with Finn.

 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

Rey was impressed with Finn and Rose's teaching skills. It came so naturally to them. Or maybe it was Ben's lesson plan. Or both. Either way, she enjoyed the lesson and the message. It also helped that Ben was sitting next to her, but she didn't want to admit that yet.

Rose closed out the class with another prayer and dismissed the kids. Most of them lingered to talk with each other or hang out at the Foosball table again. They seemed to really enjoy their time there.

"So, you're here to help clean the workroom?" Ben asked as Rey whipped her head around to look at him, trying not to look embarrassed. "That room looks like a tornado hit it. Sad cause I think a lot of people in the congregation would get some good use out of the craft supplies and lesson materials in there."

Rey was surprised--but happy--that Ben was starting a conversation with her. "Oh, yeah. I mean, I haven't even seen it yet but Rose made it sound like she was desperate for help!"

Ben chuckled. "I got some of the high school kids to volunteer to help too. We're gonna make an afternoon out of it. I'm ordering pizza for everyone too, what's your favorite kind?"

"O-oh, you'll be there too?" Rey stuttered.

"That's the plan, anyway," Ben shrugged.

Rey smiled. "And you're just doing it just because?"

Ben nodded. "Might as well. I don't have any family to go home to, so this sort of _is_ my family. I mean, my mom goes here but that's different." He laughed. "Plus me helping out is a good example to the kids. Shows them that they need to put others first, ya know?"

Rey was enamored with everything Ben was saying. He sounded so selfless. And he didn't have a family either? Maybe they had some things in common. Without thinking, she began to talk. "I don't have a family either. Finn and Rose are kind of the closest I've ever gotten to a family but I don't spend much time with them anymore. I've kinda been alone for a long time now."

"You're not alone," Ben looked her in the eye, suddenly looking very emotional. "You've got us. I don't want to be too forward since it's your first visit, but you can always find family here if you want. We're all brothers and sisters in Christ here. Jesus brings us together."

As much as Rey wanted to cringe, she started to open up to the idea. "I honestly don't know much about church or God or Jesus or anything like that," she admitted. "Finn told me a little when we grew up together but I didn't really care for it."

"Well," Ben closed his eyes for a moment, "if you'd ever like to learn more I'm happy to talk with you about it. We could grab coffee or something, if you're interested. Church and God and Jesus have done _wonders_ for me, trust me." He looked back at her as if he had a flashback to something awful.

Rey pondered for a moment. They definitely shared some things in common--they _had_ to. "I think I'll take you up on that," she smiled.

"Sounds good, Rey." Ben grinned, placing his large hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner. Then he stood up. "We can make plans while we clean the workroom. So, what kind of pizza did you want me to order for you?" He winked.

 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

Rey was suddenly very excited to clean a workroom she'd never seen before. She didn't want to admit that she was interested in Ben, but she couldn't help it. But she was _also_ opening up to this whole Jesus thing. Was it because of Ben? Or was it because she was finally giving it a chance? Or both?

When she followed Ben, Finn, Rose, and a chunk of teenagers to the workroom, she was shocked. It was a _massive_ room with shelves packed full of craft supplies, books, VHS tapes (yikes that's old), and more. The counters had piles of paper and stamps and stickers. Boxes crowded the floors and a TV with a VHS player on a stand with wheels blocked the walkway.

Ben turned around to face everyone. "We've got our work cut out for us," he said. "Kids, I'm going to split you into groups of three to tackle the boxes. I'm not letting you pick groups because we don't do cliques here. Finn and Rose, can you get started on the counters? And Rey, you can help me with the shelves." He smiled at her. She blushed. "Pizza should be delivered in about 30 minutes and will be available in the fellowship hall. We'll all take a break then together."

After Ben split the groups up, they got to work. Rey made her way to the first nook of shelves in the room, deciding to start with the bins of glue and paint. She pulled up a recycling bin to toss the empty bottles out and found a comfortable position to sit on the floor as she sorted. Ben walked up and sat on the floor across from her, opting to go through the bins of pencils and markers.

They sorted their supplies quietly for a few minutes. It felt a bit awkward to Rey, but also nice. As if the two of them did this all the time and were comfortable in each other's presence, without a need to make small talk. But she also worried she seemed stand-offish to Ben, so she decided to speak. "What made you decide to be a youth minister?" She asked.

Ben looked up from his work, almost like he was glad she asked. "I wasn't a good kid," he chuckled. "I made a lot of really stupid mistakes that almost landed me in handcuffs or maybe even dead. But I came back from it, and I want to show kids that you can always come back, no matter how bad it gets. I also want to teach them what _not_ to do through my experience."

Rey was intrigued. She wasn't sure if he wanted to get into a super deep life-talk right now among the others, but he also seemed eager to share it. "If you don't mind me asking...what kinds of things did you do?" She inquired shyly.

Ben shrugged. "When I was 13 my mom sent me off to this Christian school/summer camp program. Basically she shipped me off thinking it'd magically turn me into the perfect kid. Not that I was bad before, but she was worried I'd end up like my dad. He drank a lot, smuggled drugs, had an affair, and abandoned us at one point. She didn't want me to follow in his footsteps. But the program she put me in was _not_ a good one." He glanced up at Rey, whose eyes were wide with fascination. "Sorry, you probably don't want to hear my entire life story right now." He laughed awkwardly.

"No, I do." Rey said almost mindlessly. She was eating this up. It made her feel normal to hear that someone else had struggles too.

Ben nodded in acknowledgement, then continued. "Of course, my mom had _no_ idea this program was flawed. It's not related to our church congregation at all, but she saw it advertised in the newspaper a lot. So when I got sent away, I felt kind of hurt. It seemed like she was just desperate to get rid of me because I looked too much like my dad or something. Anyway, there was a teacher at the program. Mr. Snoke. He was nasty. People didn't realize it but he was a predator, and he preyed on kids with issues like me to do things for him. Nothing sexual, thank goodness. But he would get us to smuggle drugs for him because he knew no one would detect a child at a Christian camp. He called me awful things, told me no one would ever love me, and that I deserved to be sent away. I believed him. He said it was 'God's plan' for me to be brought to him to do these things. It was stupid and didn't make any sense, but as a young impressionable kid I took it."

Rey could feel her eyes get puffy as she continued to listen.

Ben sighed. "When I got home from the program at 16 years old, my dad had returned home. My mom _took him back_ despite everything he had done to us. I was furious. I started sneaking out to go drinking with friends or smoke some weed. I tried other things too. One night, my mom got worried and sent my dad to look for me. I was drunk with my friends and I was driving, like an idiot. And then, as if God had planned it, I got in a car accident. With my dad. And...he died."

A tear crept down Rey's cheek and as she wiped it away, she saw tears well up in Ben's eyes too.

"I was _so_ mad at God. I couldn't believe He would do something like that to me, and for what? To teach me a lesson? That I should've accepted my dad after he did all those horrible things to our family and maybe I wouldn't have killed him? My mom was heartbroken, obviously. I don't blame her. But I was mad at her too. I was mad that she had sent me off to this _program_ where a predator got me into drugs and alcohol. And I somehow made it _her_ fault that I was drunk that night and killed my dad. I was in a bad place."

Ben took a deep breath, glancing up at Rey to see if she was okay. "Don't worry, it gets better," he smiled as his voice cracked. Rey sniffled and grinned back.

"Shortly after, Snoke found me again. He manipulated me into thinking all I was good for now was working for him, so I did. But he ended up getting arrested and imprisoned for life on multiple accounts. I didn't have a purpose at all anymore. One night, when I was 18, I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know what to do. I was getting drunk every night, I'd lost all my friends, and felt so insanely alone. Then I got a phone call from my mom, asking me to come home. I was surprised, because she had left me alone for two years now. I had been couch surfing at friends' houses, but I didn't have any friends now. She told me she was praying for me every night and for some reason got a feeling that night that I needed her. So I went."

Rey glanced around her to see if anyone was listening, but everyone was minding their own business cleaning.

"She insisted I go to church with her," Ben chuckled. "I didn't want to because I was still mad at God, but she made me. When I went, everyone was so accepting of me. They welcomed me with open arms and didn't dwell on the bad things I had done. That Sunday there was a sermon about Jesus and how much he loves us--similar to today's sermon, actually. The preacher talked about how we _all_ make mistakes, but _nothing_ is unworthy of God's love. Even the nastiest, most evil murderous snake could be redeemed through Jesus if he committed his life and turned things around. I felt like a monster, but that message just really got through to me. I thought I had gotten too far for myself to ever be saved, but I was reminded that no one is ever really gone."

Rey was about to lose it and start bawling.

Ben looked at her. "Do you know the parable of the prodigal son?" He asked, curious.

Rey shook her head. "It sounds slightly familiar, but I don't know what it's about."

"I'll have to read it to you on our coffee date," he said. "It's one of the stories Jesus told as a sort of analogy for his love for us."

Rey tried not to get hung up on the word "date".

Ben continued without a second thought. "That's basically how my story felt. I had done these _horrible,_ _awful_ things. I made bad choices, I broke the law, and I _killed_ my dad. Yet I was still accepted with open arms by my mother, the church, and Jesus when I came back with nothing, looking for help. A lot of people don't see a point in being accepted by Jesus because they don't think he's real, but the fact that my life could make such a drastic turn for the better was all the proof I needed. After everything, I dedicated my life to Christ, got baptized, and abandoned those bad habits and environments. It obviously didn't happen overnight and I had help from my mom and the people here at church, but it happened. I was able to be redeemed, even when I thought I couldn't be. I forgave my mother for sending me to that awful program, and she apologized for doing it in the first place too. I even--reluctantly--forgave Snoke because if it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't have hit rock-bottom and would've been wishy-washy till the end. Now I have a firm faith that I believe in and can share with others confidently."

Ben finished sorting the pencils in one bin and switched to the marker bin. Rey didn't even realize she was sorting so slowly as she listened to his story.

"Anyway, all that being said, I was both shocked and honored when the elders here at church approached me about becoming the new youth minister. We had some bad ones in the past, ministers who picked favorites and allowed cliques or just wanted to party all the time and never teach. I had already shared my testimony with the congregation and the elders felt I was the type of person they needed to lead the teenagers. I wasn't some sheltered, spoiled brat who never had anything wrong happen in my life. And I wasn't going to slip back into bad habits and be a bad example. I let the past die, and embraced a new future. Now my goal is to help the kids in my care know they have the same opportunity I did."

Rey blinked. "That's incredible," she finally said. "...and you're not making any of this up, right?" She couldn't help but ask, still feeling skeptical of the whole God and Jesus thing.

Ben let out a laugh. "Couldn't make it up if I tried!" Then he placed a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean for my story to be that long, I'm sorry. But thank you for listening. I...I hope it was helpful? Maybe? I don't know," he shook his head, embarrassed.

Rey placed her hand on his, and nodded happily. "It was. I think...I think I'd like to learn more about all of this. I could use a sense of belonging."

Ben smiled widely. "You are already accepted here and by Jesus, Rey." He said. "I'm happy to share that with you."

Suddenly one of the teenagers popped her head in the room. "Pizza's here!" She shouted.

Rey and Ben both stood up. "I know I just talked your ear off," Ben put his hand on the back of his neck, "but I'd like to get to know you better, Rey. If that's okay with you. When do you want to have coffee?"

Rey smirked. "Are you free tomorrow morning?" She asked, her heart feeling warm.

"Sure, sounds good to me. Want to meet somewhere or would you like me to pick you up?" Ben offered.

Flustered, Rey answered quickly. "Uh, we can just meet somewhere so you don't have to go out of your way!" She stuttered.

Ben nodded. "Okay. How about 10:00 at the local shop around the corner from here?"

"Yes, that sounds good." Rey smiled. Then, suddenly, she felt very confident. "Ben, if you don't mind me asking...is this coffee date to talk more about Jesus, or because you're uh...interested in me?"

Ben stopped and turned to her. "Both, of course," he beamed.

Rey was glad she came to church that Sunday.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay it was hard to write in such a concise manner so I apologize if the pacing is bad, but yes Ben is actually interested in Rey AND strong in his faith in this story. He's not making it up to get her to feel sorry for him and he's not acting interested so he can convert her. His intentions are genuine ♥
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this cheesy fic lol!


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